Tears In The Rain
by strawberrycannibal
Summary: After 15 years, Justin returns to Pittsburgh and finds out some bad news. *Character Death*


For the record, I cried while writing this :(

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><p>The chilling wind did nothing to help the nerves tingling inside of him. The old worn down building stood before him. You could tell that just by looking at it, that the building once held lots of splendor and appeal, but now it appeared empty and unwelcome.<p>

The truth is, this was still his home. The streets changed, the people changed, hell, he had changed, but that one fact never did. He ran his fingers through his blonde hair and walked into the building, it was almost painful. The way so many memories flashed through his mind. He was almost tempted to walk out again and never come back, but something told him to keep going, to keep walking.

So he did. The old sliding door now loomed before him, he reached a hand and knocked. A coarse voice called from inside, strained.

"It's open." That was the only cue he needed to push the door open and walk to an almost dark.

On the off-white couch, there was a man. He was slightly muscular but not overly, he had brown hair that had a few streaks of gray, he wore a pair of gray sweatpants and a black wife beater.

He felt his heart stop. This man was so beautiful, how he had missed him. Brian took a drag from the cigarette in his hand and glanced over at the blonde, his eyes immediately lighting up, he smiled tentatively.

"Hey there, Sunshine."

Justin walked over to him and sat on the edge of the couch, unable to fully process just where exactly he was and unable to believe that Brian was here, magnificent as always. Brian slowly reached a hand and cupped Justin's cheek gently, his eyes looking deep into the other man's. He pulled away shook his head.

"What?" The blonde asked, confused.

"Fifteen years is far too long, Sunshine, you've changed," He smiled sadly. Justin looked upset.

"Am I not attractive to you anymore?" He asked, hurt. Brian rolled his eyes.

"Don't be such a twat, thiry-seven suits you." He stated. Justin smiled widely.

"And forty-nine definitely suits you, Mr. Kinney." He leaned in to kiss the older man when he was stopped.

"No, this can't continue until we talk." Brian sighed, his heart pounding. Justin was taken back but nodded.

"I have to admit, I was surprised when you called me up out of nowhere, what made you?" He asked, curiously. Brian reached over and put out the cigarette in the ashtray before pulling himself up into the sitting position.

"The cancer's back, the doctor's said there's nothing they can do this time, I got two, maybe three months total." He said. Justin stood and began pacing, after a few minutes he turned to Brian, tears in his eyes.

"So what was your plan exactly? You don't call me, you don't acknowledge me for fifteen years and then when you finally decide to talk to me, it's to tell me that you're dying? That just isn't fair!" He snapped. Brian closed his eyes, he had expected this.

"Life isn't fair, hasn't anyone told you that?"

"No, you're right, life isn't fair, but you could have called me years ago, to come back, but no, I get called back when my time with you now has a number!" He was positively sobbing now."W-why?" Brian stood up and walked over to him, pulling the blonde into his arms, he buried himself in the soft hair that he had so long thought about.

"You were living your life, I wasn't going to interrupt," He braced himself for the next words, they were still hard to say but he knew they needed to be said."I love you and I hoped you still loved me, because I needed to see you, but if you have a lover waiting for you..." He trailed off, the thought hurting him. Justin pulled away and shook his head.

"When will you get it? It's you, it's always been you, I was waiting for you to want me to come back."

"Oh, Sunshine, I always wanted you back, but you had to takeover New York with your art, and now you have. I don't regret it, it's what had to happen." He stroked Justin's cheek with his thumb, staring into his shining blue eyes that still shone with tears.

"Now what happens?"

"I'd ask you stay, but cancer isn't pretty, seeing you is enough." He felt the words spilling from his mouth, impossible to keep them in. Justin shook his head.

"No, I love you, I stood by you then and i'm going to stand by you now, we have time to make up for, lots of it."

And make up for it they did, in the throes of passion, in sweet touches and whispered words, their love rekindled easily and greatly. Not everyday was great. There was the vomiting, the pain, sometimes Brian couldn't even move at all, but Justin never left his side, he had been without his lover for far too long. There were some days when the symptoms of the cancer spreading through Brian's body seemed almost nonexistent, when he was happy, smiling and relatively normal. It was days like these when Justin couldn't help but hope that maybe the doctors were wrong, cancer couldn't take Brian, HIS Brian. Sadly, he was mistaken.

One day, Brian simply didn't wake up, Justin tried and tried to wake up, placing kisses on his face, calling his name until he simply sat there rocking with Brian curled in his arms, he had never cried so hard. His world was falling apart, everything was falling apart. When there were no more tears to be shed, Justin dressed Brian and called the police.

The funeral took place a week later, Justin just stood there as Debbie and the others hugged him. He didn't feel alive, he didn't feel at all.

Later on, he visited the grave by himself. It all seemed so surreal, impossible. No way that it was Brian in the ground, no way Brian was gone for good, this was a dream, it had to be. Once again, he was fooling himself. One look at the headstone and his tears started again.

"Brian Kinney

Great Man

Lived With No Regrets

Loved His Sunshine"

Through his tears he began to speak.

"This isn't right you know?" He began. Thunder rumbled overhead and the faintest drops of rainfall fell on his cheeks, mixing in with his tears. He continued.

"We could have lived our lives together, but no, you and your selflessness, that's right, I said selflessness, you had to go and make sure I lived out my dream, no matter what, and i'm glad, because I lived out my dream, but, I regret that we didn't get more time together, I regret it so badly." The wind rushed over him and immediately, he knew those weren't the right words and it was like he could feel Brian right next to him. He smiled, despite himself.

"No, you're right, 'no excuses, no apologies, no regrets'. You know what I don't regret? I don't regret meeting you, I don't regret loving you, I don't regret having you, because I don't think I would be who I was today if I didn't. I can't even imagine what my life would have been like if you shouldn't walked up to me under that street lamp. Sometimes, I wonder, but the thought of never meeting you hurt worst then I could imagine." He was wiping his eyes with his jacket sleeves now.

"Know this, though, I love you, I will always love you, and i'll keep creating my art, because one day, we're going to see each other again, I don't care how long it takes because you were right, it is only time, and time cannot break us, it cannot break our bond or the love we have for each other, because our love and bond are stronger than anything that gets thrown at us." He looked at the gravestone again, finding solace in the words now.

"I can't to see you again, please wait for me, I don't know where we go after we die, but I know this isn't goodbye, so, so long for now, and I love you." With his final words said, Justin leaned and kissed the headstone lightly before turning on his heels and walking briskly out of the graveyard. As he was leaving, he felt the wind pick up again and a familiar voice grace his ears.

_I love you too, Sunshine._


End file.
